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I’m so excited & proud!
Ellis was just named Marine of the Week for the second time! (That’s him in the chair.)
Can’t wait to have him home! So soon!
So, I got into a bit of an argument with my mother today about why I’ve been so stressed & short tempered lately. Long story short, it comes down to the stresses of dealing with Ellis’s first deployment & missing Ellis more and more with every day that we are apart, on top of financial & work related stresses related to the trip I’m about to take as well as my future plans to move to North Carolina.
(A little backstory: Ellis was supposed to leave Kuwait & board ship again at any moment, & we had already had our last Skype date a few days before this before having to go back to relying solely on weekly emails again, so I was prepared not to hear from him for a little while.)
In this particular moment, I’m in tears, trying to explain & help my mother understand how hard it’s been not seeing Ellis for the last 5 months & how difficult it is to communicate during deployment & that when he is home, he is going to be my ultimate top priority… and then I feel my phone vibrate. I look down to see a text from a random number. This text:
Here I am, sitting in my mother’s car, trying to explain how important this man is in my life, how serious this relationship is, and at the exact same moment, he is in Kuwait, 6000 miles & a 7 hour time difference away, borrowing someone’s phone to contact me one last time before he boards ship.
How did he know that I needed to hear from him at that exact moment? How did he know that his words were exactly what I needed right then? I can’t explain it. Call it coincidence, but I think it’s more than that.
To me, this moment was only more proof of my belief that when you know… you know.
He’s been training in Kuwait about two months now. (But he’s been deployed for 5.)
We Skyped yesterday as he had most of the day off. When we said goodbye, he said “talk to you tomorrow” like he always does, but this time something in me knew that would be the last time we would talk before he returns to ship tomorrow.
On one hand, this is a bit of a bummer, I’ve just gotten used to being able to talk to him a few times a week., & now we’ll be lucky to email once a week. But on the other hand, how exciting! He is finally heading in the right direction, towards home rather than away from it. It will be a slow journey, we still have a few months to go, but I consider this the home stretch. There was the travel to Kuwait, the time in Kuwait, & now, finally, the travel home. Slow as it may be, day by day he is closer to home. Day by day we are closer to each other.
Yesterday, before we Skyped, he said something to me that solidified the feeling I’ve been having, the feeling that he is supposed to be in my future until my future is over. As we were talking, (I was having a bad day & upset about how much I was missing him), he told me to smile. I told him I would, but only because he said so. His response? “No, you need to smile because you’re talking to the guy you’re falling for… and because I’m gonna catch you.”
That’s all I needed.
That is what will get me through the last few months of this deployment.
Talk to you tomorrow, love.
Don’t mind the playback menu on the bottom, I was recording our Skype call.
But don’t I have the cutest boyfriend ever?! Um, yeah. Yeah, I do.
Can I just brag for a sec about how amazing this man is?
Seeing that smile makes it worth all the waiting.
150 days since Ellis took me to breakfast & I hugged him “see you soon”.
I can’t believe it’s already been 150 days. I can’t believe he’s well over halfway home. Tears of sadness & loneliness have turned into tears of joy & overwhelming love. Facebook conversations have never meant so much. Skype has never been so special.
150 days down.
So many less to go.
I never thought I would be able to be happy in a relationship separated by 6,000 miles, especially not for 8 long months. I also never thought I could fall in love with someone over emails & Skype dates.
Then Ellis showed up… & everything changed.
I’m 19. I just completed the most important body of work in my life & accomplished something I never thought I would. I had an amazing night out with my friends. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.
But I’m spending my day in bed with tears in my eyes because he’s not here to celebrate with me. I can’t call him, text him, or talk to him on Facebook. I’ve heard his voice once since he left two months ago. I write emails with no idea when I’ll get a reply, and when I do, sometimes it’s only a few sentences.
I am proud to be a Marine’s girlfriend. I am proud to wait, some days more patiently than others, for him to come home. I am proud to spend more money on presents & candy for care packages than I do on myself.
But I miss you, Ellis. Though I have so much to celebrate & be happy about, there is always something missing. You.